“I don’t want anybody staring down at me lying in a coffin! Dust to dust, ashes to ashes, that’s my philosophy. Send me flowers while I’m living, I’ve always said. When my time comes, I just want to be cremated.”
That’s good. At least you’ve made this important decision. Now your loved ones won’t have to decide it for you. Cremation is gaining popularity. People are choosing this method for disposition of human remains more than any time in recent history. The reasons vary from person to person, but lower cost seems to be one of the biggest factors driving this trend. Another reason is that it simplifies, or at least seems to simplify, the order of events when a death occurs. Cremation sounds easy, clean and worry-free. While this sounds plausible it’s not entirely true. Here are some points to consider when choosing cremation for a family member who has recently died, or even for your own choice in the future (prearrangement). Like most things in life, being informed and educated about cremation (and other end-of-life details) helps to make the process easier. No one likes to be in a situation they know nothing about. First, be sure of your motivation. Selecting cremation simply because it’s less expensive may not be the wisest choice. Yes, we should only spend money on things for which we find value; but when talking about the disposition of something as precious and emotionally-complex as the physical body which carried our loved one’s soul (spirit, life force, essence) for their whole life, we’d do well to think it through. Second, be sure you know what cremation entails. What happens during the actual cremation process could be a tough emotional pill to swallow. Imagining your loved one’s body during the cremation itself can be difficult. Both now and in the future. The difficulty is magnified due to the range of emotions which accompany the loss of someone close to you. Granted, some would say the same about picturing what happens to someone buried in a casket. Either way, it’s important you feel at peace with your decision. It’s rarely beneficial to delve too deeply into what actually happens to the remains (during cremation or traditional burial). Cremation is an irreversible process, Be certain this is what you want. Finally, just because cremation is chosen as the final disposition of the remains doesn’t preclude you and your family from setting aside some time to celebrate the life and acknowledge the death of your loved one. Yes, death is a sad affair and the process is natural and unavoidable. Still, this doesn’t mean we should just go on living our lives…as if nothing happened. Significant life events are worth stopping our routines. If only for a short time. If only to do something special. Birthdays. Weddings. Anniversaries. Promotions. Graduations. All carry with them a sense of our need to recognize what has happened. What has been accomplished. A ceremony to mark the event. From simple to palatial. There is something innately human about ceremony. Marking the life and death of someone we love should be no different. Funerals, memorial services, wakes. A gathering at a restaurant, religious location, or other special place carries with it a corporate sense. A human sense. Remembering this particular life is worth rearranging our schedules, if only for a while. So, when cremation is your choice, consider these things. Be sure you are choosing the right one for your loved one (or for yourself if you are thinking about your own plans for the future). If you are, thank you. From someone who has seen thousands of families walk unprepared through funeral home doors, thank you. If you can answer “yes” to two questions, you’ve most likely made a good choice: “Did I do the right thing?” and, “Did I do what they would’ve wanted?” Then your heart can begin the long process of healing, and you can rest your head on your pillow tonight.I Just Want to be Cremated: How to let your loved ones know what you want before you die
